Sex by Numbers: Polyamory has gone from being a fringe scene to a veritable subculture. But can having multiple partners ever be widely accepted?
It turns out that, no matter how successful they’ve been at negotiating relationships, many polyamorists still have one foot in the closet. And in a world where monogamy is not only well-entrenched but vital to the workings of a property-based society, their scene may always remain marginal.
That realization has caused many “ethical sluts” to treat open relationships not only as a lifestyle but as a social cause.
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A 2009 Gallup poll showed that 92 percent of Americans think that having an extramarital affair is morally wrong. That’s about twice as many as those who condemn gay and lesbian relationships, and three times as many as those who oppose the death penalty. Which is to say that as a culture, we’re intractably wedded to the idea of a solid matrimonial bond. We’re more amenable to the idea of legally killing someone than the idea of wrecking a marriage.
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Kate agreed. “Nonmonogamous people can cheat,” she said. “It’s just about being a dishonest schmuck. If you do it right, it’s supposed to be thoughtful. You’re supposed to do a lot of ‘checking in’ and talking things to death.”
The personal remains political?
